(crédit photos: Charlotte Lacoursière)
Derby Name: Beet’Hell’Juice
Position: Horizontal (often in spite of myself)
Bio: I’ve seen Beetlejuice about a hundred and sixty-seven times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead person. Now, what do you think? You think I’m qualified?
Height: With or without skates?
Catchphrase: It’s show time!
Likes: Hamster skateboarding videos
Derby Name: Greenpeaze
Position: Pivot / Jammer
Bio: It’s Peaze, I do not recognize myself otherwise. Yes I’m short. Do not ever pat me on my head. I’m not 3. I’ll fuck you up.
Height: 4ft 11.05512in
Likes: Candies, Star Wars, books
Dislikes: Oysters, Star Trek, coffee
Derby Name: Gunmoll Mindy
Bio: A fabled rum runner from the lush pipeline of southern Ontario, Gunmoll Mindy packed up her skates and hooch and headed for the port of Montreal when the heat found her clandestine stills and threatened to throw her in the clink for some hard time. With the trail finally cooled , Mindy found a new group of hooligans intimately familiar with the wild world of contraband to assist her in her operations. She now divides her time between laying low from the law, laying out jammers on the track and keeping glasses full in all the underground establishments of this fair city
Derby Name: Jesus Rice
Number: 43 (shoutout to mes animateurs a Dawson chambre 4g3)
Position: Like Rad- Jamming in space
Bio: One day there shall be a Cambodian team… It will be great, it will be strong, and I really hope the logo will feature the durian fruit of death.
Height: Extra small
Catchphrase: Asian Jesus promises to love you long time.
Likes: Burgers. Tacos. Hawaiian pizza.
Dislikes: Being mistaken for the other Asian in the league- unless I can take her awesome credit which happened once after the Sexpos played against Tampa Bay. After the game, a Tampa player told me I played really well, to which I responded, you too. Why take the time to explain they got the wrong Asian when we can share each other’s greatness. SHARING IS CARING OKAY.
Derby Name: Just’n Powers
Bio: Under the helmet, a head, and under the head, a neck. A neck on shoulders, and shoulders over arms… Should I keep going or do you get it?! At the bottom there are skates, and that’s all that matters, no?!
Height: One thousand and twelve fourty cat hair stacked
Catchphrase: Once upon a jam, …
Likes: Hitting you out when you thought you were safe. My teammates too.
Derby Name: KT KaBOOM
Bio: This is my first full season with mtlrd. I recently transfered from NORD (Northern Ontario Roller Derby). I started playing with the Soonami Slammers (Sault Ste Marie), then the River City Renagades out of Makinaw Michigan before moving to Montreal.
Likes: Coffee, chocolate, crushing souls
Dislikes: When people ask if i play basketball, and mustard
Derby Name: Nana Bistouri
Position: Behind the chainsaw
Bio: Massive budget cuts in healthcare having melted her operative time like a sundae in aréna St-Louis in the middle of July, Nana Bistouri’s surgical carreer took an unexpected turn when she recently had to turn to logging in order to make ends meet. Trading her scalpel for a power saw, incising bark instead of skin, this amateur lumberjack handles a chainsaw with surgical precision and can sport a plaid shirt with just as much style as she did her white coat.
Height: Giant sequoia
Catchphrase: Je suis un saule inconsolable. – Isabelle Bouleau * Can’t translate this great song by Isabelle Boulay. If you don’t know it, watch it here. NOW! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEpsVLwHTXA
Likes: To operate, incise, cut, slice, section, slash, cauterize, amputate, stitch… (must I go on or do you get the picture?)
Dislikes: Gaétan Barrette
Derby Name: Radical Ed
Position: Like Jesus.
Bio: Ed will introduce Ed! Space explorer and bounty hunter on the side, Ed is only passing by. Say hi!
Height: From average to tall depending on who’s standing next to me.
Likes: Video games, space, cats, Ein and the Bebop.
Dislikes: Being cold.
Derby Name: Rocket
Position: Taking off to the planet Venus.
Bio: Fully automated luxury gay space communist.
Height: Apollo 11 was powered by a Saturn V rocket which stood 101.5 meters tall.
Catchphrase: Honey what you see, isn’t always the truth.
Likes: Romantic nights in with my PS4.
Dislikes: Rude people.
Derby Name: Scarlett Fever
Position: Under the bed, axe in hand.
Bio: I’m creepy. That’s all you need to know. Just.. let things happen…
Height: Smaller than Universe, I guess… ugh…
Catchphrase: AVADAAAA KEDAAAAVRAAAA !!! *krrlllssssssskkkkrrrrrrr*
Likes: Cats,video games, coffee, and yell at the small jammer on the other team. And cats.
Dislikes: Your face
Derby Name: Tabarnouk
Position: Bench Coach
Bio: Tabarnouk! / Proper (but not that much) and feminine noun. From the Latin tabarnacalum. Shortened as: Barnouk. Synonym: Shoosh! A Québécois expression which is used during play to express anger, hostility, pain, elation or surprise. Depending on the context in which it is used, “Tabarnouk!” can also heighten the implication of the words surrounding it. It is used for its cathartic properties and its ability to distract the enemy. The noun “Tabarnouk” is often considered to be an insult or a swear word in popular Québécois vernacular. It has to be used with caution, only by the initiated. Often imitated, “Tabarnouk” is never equaled. “Tabarnouche”, “Tabarnane” and other “Tabarouette” learned this at their own cost.
Catchphrase: Ah ben château!
Likes: Teamwork, raccoons, nachos with cream cheese salsa, skirts, and coffee.
Dislikes: Mornings without coffee, lazy people, et people ceux qui ne travaille pas en équipe.