Montréal Roller Derby
(crédit photos: Emi BK, montage Mojo Jojo)
Derby Name: Badass
Number: 36
Position: Good question
Bio: Badass has been a hockey goalie since the age of 7, so don’t be surprised if she stops a jammer with a butterfly slide.
Height: 5,9 3/4
Catchphrase: Fight like a girl
Likes: Pizza and tacos, but mostly pizza
Dislikes: Having something stuck in my teeth, sneezing while driving, being lectured on how to use a drill.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Bonnie Blunders
Number: 111
Derby Name: CANCAN
Number: 4399
Position: Jammer
Height: 160
Pronouns: she/her
Derby Name: Freida Tits
Number: 6006
Derby Name: G-String Theory
Number: 24
Position: Blocker
Bio: Arriving from a 24-dimension parallel universe, G-String Theory has come to Earth to play roller derby: a sport whose reputation has crossed dimensions. With many strings to her bow, she draws her power from the smallest components of matter: tiny g-strings made up of pure energy. Will G-String Theory adapt to the physical laws of this universe? Will her intergalactic reputation follow her to this planet? Will roller derby become her weapon of mass destruction? Only the future will tell.
Height: 5’7″
Catchphrase: Hold on to your string!
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Horny Potter
Number: 5112
Position: Blocker
Bio: Instead of becoming a Quidditch beater on a flying broomstick, I’ve become a human bludger on roller skates.
Height: 172cm
Catchphrase: Mischief managed
Likes: Severus Snape, cats, collecting crucifixes, onanism.
Dislikes: People who take up too much space on the sidewalk, prudishness, patriarchy.
Pronouns: They/them He/him
Derby Name: Hot Pocket
Number: 72
Position: blocker
Bio: Beige on the outside with scalding-hot red goo on the inside and a frozen center.
Catchphrase: Baked, not fried
Likes: Burning your mouth off
Dislikes: Freezer burn
Pronouns: she/her
Derby Name: K8trix
Number: 101
Position: Blocker
Bio: After taking the red pill 2 years ago, K8trix is still seeing just how deep the derby rabbit hole goes.
Likes: My messy life
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Krak’N
Number: 00
Position: Jammer
Bio: Fifth season already! A love-hate relationship from the begining to the end. A passion that made me who I am today and which bring me so much every year. Its never too late to reach your goals!
Height: 5’6″ 1/2
Likes: Alcohol, tattoos and sarcasm.
Dislikes: Spiders, hurting others and winter.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Laisse Tomber les filles
Number: 174
Position: Blocker
Bio: Laisse is an experience.
Height: 5’2
Catchphrase: Are you gonna eat that?
Likes: Boys.
Dislikes: Boys.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Leann-T-Christ
Number: 131
Position: The Ball
Bio: Destroy the middle, it’s a waste of time From the perfect start to the finish line And if you’re still breathing, you’re the lucky one ‘Cause here I am heaving through corrupted lungs.
Catchphrase: HOWAY MAN
Likes: Your dog
Dislikes: Your cat
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Ludisjonctée
Number: 10
Position: Blocker
Bio: I busted the nose of a player on the opposite team on my first game. It felt great–I kept playing.
Height: 162
Catchphrase: The love of risk
Likes: My dog, hentai, roller derby–but never at the same time.
Dislikes: Sausage
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Mad Hunter
Number: 4810
Position: Block / Pivot
Bio: Sometimes I dream of being a cat.
Height: Tall enough to be impressive
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Motörwheels
Number: 84
Position: Blocker
Height: 171
Catchphrase: Born to lose, live to win.
Likes: Salty liquorice and cheese
Dislikes: Mornings without coffee
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Panzerette
Number: 728
Position: Jammeur
Bio: Guess who’s back
Height: 5″
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: PoisonEvy
Number: 61
Position: Jammer
Bio: Former rugby player who excelled mainly during the third-half; she laced her first pair of skates in Toronto and hasn’t put them down since.
Height: 162cm
Catchphrase: It is what it is
Likes: England and vintage shops
Dislikes: Being patronized
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Rictus In Bra
Number: 823
Position: Blocker
Bio: Loyal in nature, I would give everything for my players. Too late for you guys, you’ll have to deal with my jokes and my sharp shoulders <3
Height: 162cm
Catchphrase: kiss on the ass <3
Likes: hit some butts baby!
Dislikes: The great violence, the one that makes me ashamed of belonging to the human race.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Slaughter
Number: 94
Position: Blocker
Bio: I can block a derby track like I can block a train track. Back for another season of hits and fun.
Height: 5’8″ 1/2
Catchphrase: Skoden nd Stoodis
Likes: IPAs and my doggos
Dislikes: Being late and bad coffee
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Thelma Track
Number: 0200
Derby Name: Watatatow
Number: 34
Derby Name: Mojo Jojo
Number: 343
Position: Coach
Height: Just a bit taller than Eli
Catchphrase: Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
Likes: Arrested Development, baths, the Sims.
Dislikes: Cats, being cold.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Debhiteuse
Number: 49
Derby Name: Mayday Va*J*J
Number: 1
Derby Name: Sham’Pain
Number: 6
Position: coach
Height: 165m
Catchphrase: Skate or die
Likes: Strategy
Dislikes: Being late
Pronouns: She/her