Montréal Roller Derby
(crédit photos: Emi BK, montage Mojo Jojo)
Derby Name: Blue Butt
Number: 913
Derby Name: Deb’hiteuse
Number: 49
Bio: I just wanted to impress my parents, but they don’t care at all about Roller Derby.
Height: Average
Catchphrase: Yallah
Likes: the noise of the snow under my shoes
Dislikes: the noise of my butt falling on the patch of ice
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Eye Roll
Number: 12
Likes: Falaf & Charlie
Dislikes: Drivers who don’t use their flashers!
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Freida Tits
Number:
Derby Name: French Canadian Cancan
Number: 4399
Derby Name: Horny Potter
Number: 5112
Bio: Instead of becoming a quidditch beater on flying broomstick, I’ve recycled myself into human bludger on roller skates.
Catchphrase: Mischief managed
Likes: My dildos
Dislikes: Peas
Pronouns: They/them
Derby Name: Hot Pocket
Number: 72
Bio: I’m just out here trying to impress my children.
Height: wee
Dislikes: Costco on a Sunday
Pronouns: she/her
Derby Name: Kid Nervous
Number: 90
Bio: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually — from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint — it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly… timey-wimey… stuff.
Height: In light years ?
Catchphrase: Allons-y Alonzo !
Likes: Veggies
Dislikes: Meat
Pronouns: she/her
Derby Name: Killmore Girls
Number: 111
Bio: I’m a fragile f*ing flower
Height: Average-ish
Catchphrase: Life is hard, hard like the floor
Likes: Coffee, candy and canceling plans
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Krak’N Twig
Number: 00
Bio: A little twig with a lion’s heart. Its hell hard but I wont give up!
Height: Perfect height to get my jaw blowed up.
Catchphrase: Crap.
Likes: Hugs, cats and recently got a scary obsession for plants.
Dislikes: Mornings and strong walls.
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Laisse Tomber les Filles
Number: 174
Bio: I come from the country side but I don’t drive shift
Catchphrase: Oh dib!
Likes: My cats, Salty’s cat and Sparkle’s cat.
Dislikes: Mangos.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Laurence
Number: 808
Height: Not tall
Dislikes: Make choices
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Leann T Christ
Number: 131
Bio: I did it all for the rookies.
Height: Average height. In Skates.
Catchphrase: Sorry!
Likes: Four finger KitKats. Five finger dicounts. Fistfuls of love.
Dislikes: Your cat.
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Mad Hunter
Number: 4810
Height: Tall
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Mother Tucker
Number: 221
Bio: Critically dramatic.
Height: taller than a hobbit, shorter than an elf
Catchphrase: tucker SMASH!
Likes: Poutine, beer, dumplings
Dislikes: Pineapple
Pronouns: they/them
Derby Name: Papercut
Number: 44
Height: Tall for MTLRD standards
Derby Name: Regretta Garbanzo
Number: 689
Bio: The little garbanzo that could !
Catchphrase: Wait…what??
Likes: Mayonnaise
Dislikes: Hummus
Pronouns: They/she
Derby Name: Salty Sarah
Number: 07
Bio: Tried growing plants but they just kept dying… Now I try doing Roller Derby.
Height: I’ll only tell you in metric
Catchphrase: I’m Swedish!
Likes: My cats, salty liquorice and ikea.
Dislikes: The sound of my alarm in the morning.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Sham’Pain
Number: 06
Height: 165m
Catchphrase: skate or die
Likes: trees
Dislikes: borders
Pronouns: she her
Derby Name: SlaughterMelon Crawl
Number: 94
Derby Name: Al K Traz
Number: 13
Derby Name: Ghostface Killer
Number:
Derby Name: Sparkle
Number:
Bio: Leadership has been defined as the ability to hide your panic from others.
Height: Taller
Catchphrase: Oh Jesus, gross.
Likes: My cat, male tears
Dislikes: Rude Brits
Pronouns: She/her