An abandoned building, where broken windows are letting the howling wind in. A creaking grid opens ups on a dusty, musty, boiler room. Around the old furnace, all kinds of eerie creatures are gathered ‘round. Some of them grew up on the street. Other have just escaped their padded cells. These ill intentioned women, with a crazy spark in their eyes, are planning their next move.
(crédit photos: Mojo Jojo)
Derby Name: Bloody San
Bio: I’m starting my second year with my crazy team “FDR”. Started roller derby in Paris 4 years ago with Paris Roller Girls, then a few months with the girls of Valences, Spain and played in Auckland with the Pirate City Rollers in 2015.
Catchphrase: I’m gonna scratch your face. It rhymes with catchphrase.
Likes: To travel, to eat AND to travel, to travel AND to EAT and TO drink at the same time.
Derby Name: Hot Pocket
Bio: Very excited to join FDR this year. I hope I don’t f@#% it up!
Catchphrase: Sorry about that! (Don’t worry, I’m not, it’s just my catchphrase)
Likes: Dessert, dairy, Taylor Swift songs (whatever haters)
Dislikes: Squats, haters
Crime: Stealing your man.
Derby Name: La Grande Noirceur
Position: Pivot / Offense / Relief jammer
Bio: 5 th season of derby, still so much darkness to give away. Known for her solid hits, her track awareness and a certain habit of accidentally tearing her teammate’s T-shirts.
Likes: To think her parents might finally come to see her play this season?
Dislikes: Damp socks and injuries.
Crime: Failure to comply with a peace bond
Derby Name: Laisse Tomber Les Filles
Bio: She would do anything for love. Even *that*.
Catchphrase: Laisse is more
Likes: Long walks on the beach at sunset. The laughter of a child. Gazing into the abyss. Cats.
Dislikes: Filing her tax report. Rainy days. Being gazed at by the abyss. Relish.
Crime: Gross indecency
Derby Name: Leann-T-Christ
Bio: A proper Shields gobshite raised on saveloys and scraps. Divvent rile this radgie or yeel git chinned. Eeeeeh but she’s dead canny though. Geet lush.
Height: 5ft nowt
Catchphrase: Haddaway and shite ya workie ticket
Crime: Vulgarity. Honking patter.
Derby Name: Mojo Jojo
Bio: Passionate’ person, repeatedly talks about her obsessions until her friends finally submit. “Did you watch Arrested Development?” and “Do you know this podcast called My Favourite Murder?” are amongst the first things she’ll ever ask you. A true crime addict; the Blue-eyed-bubble-butt-butcher would be her serial killer name.
Catchphrase: There’s always money in the banana stand.
Likes: Being a chick in a bowl, sleep, taking baths, drinking Coca Cola and playing Sims. Oh, and… did you watch Attested Development?
Dislikes: Tall people at gigs, other road users, being cold, your house dirt on my socks, running.
Crime: Disturbing the peace
Derby Name: Peace Out
Bio: *Masculin is used to keep the text short* He comes back in force! During the last 4 years, this macho built his personality with the Juniors. This time, he proudly wears the purple and gold. From a pigheaded comes the darkest crimes
Height: Taller than Tits, that’s all that matters
Catchphrase: El sais
Likes: A wild life and lombrics
Dislikes: A not-so-wild life oh! and people who don’t compost
Crime: Fight in a Saskatchewan bar to find her wife who left him there for a guy from Regina
Derby Name: Thelma Track
Bio: Wanted by the police for the murder of a dude who wanted to rape her girl, Thelma has been on the run in Europe, first in Paris, then hiding in London before finally disappearing in Canada.
Catchphrase: You get what you settle for.
Likes: Adventure, adrenalin, freedom
Derby Name: POU
Position: Prefect of the Jamily
Bio: Played four seasons as a jammer with FDR, and was the first to win the “FDR Rookie Trophy” because she was wearing a purple and gold unicorn outfit… She is now a Pivot and on-call-jammer on The New Skids. She also wear the stripes for Team Canada. Pouliche is there to guide them into their journey of growth. There is no good or bad. Only winning.
Catchphrase: Arrête de niaiser. Focus.
Likes: Positivity and Shirley Temple
Dislikes: Negativity, beer and coffee.