Montréal Roller Derby
An abandoned building, where broken windows are letting the howling wind in. A creaking grid opens ups on a dusty, musty, boiler room. Around the old furnace, all kinds of eerie creatures are gathered ‘round. Some of them grew up on the street. Other have just escaped their padded cells. These ill intentioned women, with a crazy spark in their eyes, are planning their next move.
(crédit photos: Emi BK, montage Mojo Jojo)
Derby Name: Blue Butt
Number: 913
Derby Name: Deb’hiteuse
Number: 49
Bio: I just wanted to impress my parents, but they don’t care at all about Roller Derby.
Height: Average
Catchphrase: Yallah
Likes: the noise of the snow under my shoes
Dislikes: the noise of my butt falling on the patch of ice
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Eye Roll
Number: 12
Likes: Falaf & Charlie
Dislikes: Drivers who don’t use their flashers!
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Freida Tits
Number:
Derby Name: French Canadian Cancan
Number: 4399
Derby Name: Horny Potter
Number: 5112
Bio: Instead of becoming a quidditch beater on flying broomstick, I’ve recycled myself into human bludger on roller skates.
Catchphrase: Mischief managed
Likes: My dildos
Dislikes: Peas
Pronouns: They/them
Derby Name: Hot Pocket
Number: 72
Bio: I’m just out here trying to impress my children.
Height: wee
Dislikes: Costco on a Sunday
Pronouns: she/her
Derby Name: Kid Nervous
Number: 90
Bio: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually — from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint — it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly… timey-wimey… stuff.
Height: In light years ?
Catchphrase: Allons-y Alonzo !
Likes: Veggies
Dislikes: Meat
Pronouns: she/her
Derby Name: Killmore Girls
Number: 111
Bio: I’m a fragile f*ing flower
Height: Average-ish
Catchphrase: Life is hard, hard like the floor
Likes: Coffee, candy and canceling plans
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Krak’N Twig
Number: 00
Bio: A little twig with a lion’s heart. Its hell hard but I wont give up!
Height: Perfect height to get my jaw blowed up.
Catchphrase: Crap.
Likes: Hugs, cats and recently got a scary obsession for plants.
Dislikes: Mornings and strong walls.
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Laisse Tomber les Filles
Number: 174
Bio: I come from the country side but I don’t drive shift
Catchphrase: Oh dib!
Likes: My cats, Salty’s cat and Sparkle’s cat.
Dislikes: Mangos.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Laurence
Number: 808
Height: Not tall
Dislikes: Make choices
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Leann T Christ
Number: 131
Bio: I did it all for the rookies.
Height: Average height. In Skates.
Catchphrase: Sorry!
Likes: Four finger KitKats. Five finger dicounts. Fistfuls of love.
Dislikes: Your cat.
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Mad Hunter
Number: 4810
Height: Tall
Pronouns: She/Her
Derby Name: Mother Tucker
Number: 221
Bio: Critically dramatic.
Height: taller than a hobbit, shorter than an elf
Catchphrase: tucker SMASH!
Likes: Poutine, beer, dumplings
Dislikes: Pineapple
Pronouns: they/them
Derby Name: Papercut
Number: 44
Height: Tall for MTLRD standards
Derby Name: Regretta Garbanzo
Number: 689
Bio: The little garbanzo that could !
Catchphrase: Wait…what??
Likes: Mayonnaise
Dislikes: Hummus
Pronouns: They/she
Derby Name: Salty Sarah
Number: 07
Bio: Tried growing plants but they just kept dying… Now I try doing Roller Derby.
Height: I’ll only tell you in metric
Catchphrase: I’m Swedish!
Likes: My cats, salty liquorice and ikea.
Dislikes: The sound of my alarm in the morning.
Pronouns: She/her
Derby Name: Sham’Pain
Number: 06
Height: 165m
Catchphrase: skate or die
Likes: trees
Dislikes: borders
Pronouns: she her
Derby Name: SlaughterMelon Crawl
Number: 94
Derby Name: Al K Traz
Number: 13
Derby Name: Ghostface Killer
Number:
Derby Name: Sparkle
Number:
Bio: Leadership has been defined as the ability to hide your panic from others.
Height: Taller
Catchphrase: Oh Jesus, gross.
Likes: My cat, male tears
Dislikes: Rude Brits
Pronouns: She/her