An abandoned building, where broken windows are letting the howling wind in. A creaking grid opens ups on a dusty, musty, boiler room. Around the old furnace, all kinds of eerie creatures are gathered ‘round. Some of them grew up on the street. Other have just escaped their padded cells. These ill intentioned women, with a crazy spark in their eyes, are planning their next move.
(crédit photos: Charlotte Lacoursiere & Josianne Turcotte)
Derby Name: Al K Traz
Position: In bounds preferably
Bio: She was born, no one knows how, in the depths of the famous Alcatraz prison. Raised among crooks of the worst kind, she has made the prison her playground. On the menu: hide-and-seek in the dungeons, arm-wrestling contest with inmates, storytelling before bedtime about the prowess of the greatest criminals. Alcatraz was her family, Al K. Traz her name. When the prison closed its doors, nothing was fun anymore because all around her was too boring. She went on an adventure in search of more destabilizing challenges… on wheels maybe…
Derby Name: Any Bony
Position: Ideally in derby stand, possibly on her bottom
Bio: She use to be a Pirate, then she became a Filles du Roi to provide a healthy living environment for her sons. Bony drags her brood under her skirts, wielding the sword despite all opposition.
Age: Some says she is the ancient of the clan.
Likes: A Tank, sea air, dark chocolate and dark beer
Dislikes: The evil and injustice
Derby Name: Banguerang!
Bio: We recognize Banguerang on track with her Robocop leg and her obession to never give up.
Catchphrase: “Skrillex stole my derby name!”
Likes: Cooking, reading, hitting people, coffee
Dislikes: Bad drivers, snow, waking up early in the morning
Derby Name: Cracker Jass
Bio: Landing in Canada after seeing the world, this little sailor found a pair of roller skates as a prize in a box of her favourite popcorn treat. She tried them on and got hooked on derby like a fat kid on sugar. On the track, she’s a bit nuts and will definitely pop a few hits. Yeah, she’s a real treat. And she’s gluten-free.
Age: Your favourite junk food since 1896
Derby Name: Falafel la Gazelle
Bio: Descendant of the Phoenicians, Falafel la Gazelle is raised in a giant cedar forest. As a kid, she dislikes milk, prefering the fresh taste of Arak. A great war pushes her parents to move to Quebec, where her uncle is already settled and the owner of the best Amir in Laval. She will then become the best falafel cook in all North Shore. In her free time, she tries to integrate Quebec’s culture by joining in a softball team, but she finds it pretty boring. When Falafel hears about Derby, she is eager to try it. Quickly, she discovers a true passion for this new sport in which she feels her ancestors force coming back to her.
Height: 5′ 7″
Likes: Shish-taouk, shawarma, hummous, taboulé, pita, arak, les traductions de proverbes arabes and her Téta (aka grand-mother)
Derby Name: Fann’ystérie
Position: Blocker / Jammer
Bio: Fresh out of a jack in the box, Fann’ystérie is without doubt, the most energetic girl that you’ve ever met. This player cries, danses, and sings incessantly – this being one of her famous techniques for shaking up her opponents. Fann’ystérie is a player who makes all the Montreal Roller Derby fans go absolutely hysterical! Have you got enough game to come encourage her reach the height that merits her name?
Height: Probably smaller than you
Catchphrase: “T’es pas game!”
Likes: All her fans going hysterical
Dislikes: People who are too calm
Derby Name: French CanCan
Bio: 1981 – Paris is Trembling. It’s the inauguration of the TGV, fastest train on earth… and the birth year of Cancan. Coincidence? The spell is cast. The one that is to become THE French Cancan is raging through the years like a runaway train. Don’t look for any frills or skirts on the track because in French Cancan the name does not make the clothes. France flows in her veins but Quebec gets her heart pumping. An explosive cocktail that breathes in her the will to win. So move over, a train is entering the track!!!
Height: 5 feet (in front of you), 3 inches (behind you)
Catchphrase: When nothing goes right, go left!
Derby Name: Gonna Teach Her
Bio: She hits them, pushes them, mistreats them, yells at them, traumatises them… and that’s only at school. Imagine on the track…
Height: 5’4 plus wheels
Catchphrase: “Any questions?”
Likes: Red pens, curious people
Dislikes: Bad grammar, chalk, Comic Sans MS
Derby Name: La Grande Noirceur
Bio: Cold and scary winds blows when she approch blockers, filling their souls with despair. Her name comes from Darkness, when night slowly get possesion of lives and you’d rather know where your love ones are, and from La Grande, the hydroelectric generating station that flowed over 11 000 square kms of boreal forest, killing trees, animals and poisonning the water for generations, affecting the health of a whole Cree community. But stay hopeful, a revolution is beginning slowly and it’s less and less quiet as the crowd chants and scream for her to score more points!
Catchphrase: “So I’m practicing this new move. It will probably hurt when I’ll hit you.”
Likes: Hearing two shorts whistles blasts in her left ear. Purple. Dark chocolate. Black licorice.
Dislikes: Not having enough time.
Derby Name: Lau-Rider
Bio: We don’t know much about this girl except that she comes from the American West, most likely LA, and that she was part of a biker gang. Some say she made her way in the world breaking jaws and chewing tobacco. Others say that she is the only survivor of a rival gang’s attack. In fact, we don’t know anything about her except that she hits hard and loves to cause pain, especially on her wheels!
Likes: Coffee, eating
Dislikes: Bees, foolsg
Derby Name: Little Tricky
Bio: After her ancestors miserably failed to integrate the King’s Daughters, almost 350 years later Little Tricky saves face by finally joining a small group of Filles du roi. Building on this success, Little Tricky now seeks to become the most dreaded kid sized skater.
Height: Hum… Do we really need to talk about that? Bref. Passons…
Catchphrase: “Bref. Passons…”
Likes: Hazelnut coffee
Dislikes: Coffee without hazelnut
Derby Name: Mojo Jojo
Position: Standing up, ideally
Bio: Mojo Jojo is the proud daughter of a line of fur trappers, born and raised in the far land of the 450, between the dry lands of Séraphin and the noise of Le Train du Nord. Mojo Jojo is aspiring to conquer all the hipsters of the city. Mojo has been a die hard roller derby fan ever since her first pair of Fisher-Price skates in 2012. She has now found her way
Height: 5 foot 2 or 3
Catchphrase: “I get whatcha sayin”
Likes: Playing at Sims, chocolate and drink coke. A healty life style.
Derby Name: Panzerette
Position: All terrains
Bio: Born in the bottom of a trench in the heart of war, Panzerette had a turbulent childhood. Whether it is in the midst of bombardments and siren cries or on the derby track repelling attacks from derby girls, Panzerette is in her element. This little assault vehicle knows how to terrorize you!
Height: 5 ft
Dislikes: Sweetness, children, puppies, dolphins, etc… War, war, is not a good reason for hurting one another!
Derby Name: Tabarnouk!
Bio: “Tabarnouk! / Proper (but not that much) and feminine noun. From the Latin tabarnacalum. Shortened as: Barnouk. Synonym: Shoosh!
A Québécois expression which is used during play to express anger, hostility, pain, elation or surprise. Depending on the context in which it is used, “Tabarnouk!” can also heighten the implication of the words surrounding it. It is used for its cathartic properties and its ability to distract the enemy.
The noun “Tabarnouk” is often considered to be an insult or a swear word in popular Québécois vernacular. It has to be used with caution, only by the initiated.
Often imitated, “Tabarnouk” is never equaled. “Tabarnouche”, “Tabarnane” and other “Tabarouette” learned this at their own cost.”
Catchphrase: “Ah ben château!”
Likes: Teamwork, raccoons, natchos with cream cheese salsa, short skirts, and a good coffee
Dislikes: Lazy people, people who always find excuses for not doing things and those who do not like teamwork
Derby Name: Thunderstrike
Bio: In a surch of a new way to let out all that hidden energy, Thunderstike discover the Roller Derby. She is now free to hit as hard and as often as she wants without having to wait for lightning to show. Independent, free, she has finally found its place within the FDR who welcomed her as one of their own.
Likes: Go fast, hit hard, hit often!
Dislikes: Lightning rods
Derby Name: Beth Rave
Position: Assistant coach
Bio: Beth Rave used to play with the purple and gold family. After leaving to play with The New Skids on the Block, she wanted to stay close and take care of Les Filles du Roi, who gave her so much! Watch out! Mommy Beth Rave is in the place, and there no way she’ll let anybody mess with her FDR babies!
Catchphrase: “It’s some tough love, sweety!”
Likes: Baking for her team, making a victory dance, pool partys.
Dislikes: Tasteless desserts, humidity, bad manicure.
Derby Name: Tank
Position: Assistant coach
Bio: Player for almost 5 years with the Mont Royals, and assitant coach of the Rhythm’n Bruise (junior roller derby team), he was also selected to represent Canada at the first men’s roller derby world cup in March 2014. Tank has join the coach team of Les Filles du Roi for a second year to transmit his passion and experience of this beloved sport.