Montreal roller derby

Chasing Amy

#454grams

The illigitimate love child of South American druglord Pablo Escobar and former first lady Nancy Regan, Chasing Amy is best described as a rough and rumble girl with a penchant for smearing the blood of her enemies into the blood of her other enemies. Arrested at the age of one for crossing the border with 454 grams of cocaine tucked into her diaper rash, she was sent to live with in a corrupt nunnery where she was raised on a steady diet of snake venom, cheap tequila and puff pastries. After graduating with honors (major: eye gouging, minor: english lit), she continued down the crooked path by sneaking discarded needles, cigarette butts and autographed photos of Georgia W. Tush into underprivilged countries. Discovered in a shack outside Tijuana waiting for chimichanga takeout, she has since gained a notorious reputation for chasing any drink with three shots of blood from a rabid dog. Fun Fact! Chasing Amy holds the world record for most mountain lions wrestled in a single day.

• More info on: Chasing Amy

• age: Old enough to vote, young enough to know better
• height: Taller than all her enemies combined
• Catchphrase: “ Vaya con violencia”
• Likes: First place, first blood, first dates
• Dislikes: Last place, last call, last names