This is where you find the rookies of Montréal Roller Derby. Those skaters have survived our three-month boot camp, mandatory for all new players, but have not yet been placed on a home team.
Like all players, they train hard and have an exceptional coaching staff: Pyro, Salty Sarah, Artsy Choke and Camionette.
(crédit photos: Charlotte Lacoursiere)
Derby Name: Bikini Vandal
Position: In your face
Bio: I’ve always been going round in circles. And I am not about to stop. So…you better get out of the way!
Height: Not your size.
Catchphrase: Whip it good!
Likes: Sweet pickles, salamanders, ceiling lamps, The Growlers, latex (all over you), everything underneath, the fear in your eyes, my fluffy teddy bear
Dislikes: Propaganda, muckheap, the color of my living room, the lonely socks, taking you seriously, a poke in the eye, belly buttons, Valleyfield, the smell of your gear, your drool on my shoulder
Derby Name: Bitchi Manitou
Bio: First Nation mom, math nerd, yogi who fell in love with derby 4 years ago
Height: 5′ 7. 1/2″
Catchphrase: Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
Likes: Authenticity, my kids, finding a bargain, DIY. The order varies depending on the day.
Dislikes: Suburbia and keeping up with the Joneses
Derby Name: Drop Stitches
Position: Jammer / Battering Ram
Bio: Owner of two useless degrees, one very cute cat and more yarn than good sense. Stitches hopes to make a living as a roving knitting consultant.
Height: 5′-8″ (1.72 m)
Catchphrase: Veni, vidi, vino.
Likes: Tackle-hugs, wine, dance parties on the jammer line, cupcakes and knitting all the things.
Dislikes: Bad soundtracks, unfinished projects and kale.
Derby Name: Frida Chaos
Position: versatile ;)
Bio: This chaotic Latin American was born and raised in many places at the same time. Never really from anywhere, but very connected with everyone
Height: High enough
Catchphrase: Where did that bruise come from?
Likes: Wheel revolutions, Mysterious Bruises, anatomy, silences between people that are trying to negociate. Humans are beautiful
Dislikes: Inequality, Inertia, being powerless and melons.
Derby Name: Greenpeaze
Position: Blocker, and jammer, maybe.
Bio: I’m a mini Hulk, though I don’t turn green, but you have been warned, don’t poke the (teddy) bear.
Height: Seriously? Fine: 4’9215″ (happy?)
Catchphrase: At least my feet touch the ground.
Likes: Eating lots of guacamole, pancakes and pizza (maybe not at the same time), going to the cinema, watching HBO and BBC TV shows, reading books, and skiing. That’s about it.
Dislikes: Subway at peak hours, for obvious reasons.
Derby Name: Grilled Pain
Bio: Grilled Pain was born at a very young age. Since then she has been very busy and awesome. You can often find her looking awkward in life and/or falling on the derby track.
Catchphrase: You go, Glen Coco!
Likes: Decreasing world-suckage.
Dislikes: Licorice. Ew.
Derby Name: Guns A’Blasen
Position: Up your butt and around the corner!
Bio: Angry LGBTQ+ Jewish leftie from New York. An eternally tired student, only dances in the bathroom, and will argue with you about bagels.
Height: Fun sized!
Catchphrase: Checks on target zones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me/I meant to do that!/Mrowr.
Likes: Cats, candlelit baths, oversized sweaters, sangria, and eyeliner winged sharp enough to kill a man.
Dislikes: Being hangry, waking up early, and remembering my tea after it’s already gone cold.
Derby Name: Krak’N Twig
Bio: Creature mostly living in the darkness of her cave. Love to nap between two rocks in the peaceful ocean. Not afraid to put those tentacles to work.
Height: Tall enough to hurt when I fall.
Catchphrase: It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving foward.
Derby Name: La Leo ‘ Na
Bio: If I stop for a moment to talk to you about my life, just like that, easy, not far from Saint-Louis Square – The Fringging cowboys
Height: 5´4” porqué?
Catchphrase: Look with your eyes not with your ass.
Likes: Spicy chicken, making love, dirty dances and grilled cheese mmm
Dislikes: My neighbour.
Derby Name: Leann-T-Christ
Position: Upside-down and inside-out.
Bio: Geordie keener. Uses accent and ‘northern charm’ to get away with all sorts of ineptitude and wickedness.
Height: Tallest dwarf
Catchphrase: Teamwork makes the league work! & “I AM LOW!!!”
Likes: IPA. Big hugs. Ska. Buffy. Spreadsheets. Competitive vacuuming. Chuck Palahniuk. Dancing like a lunatic.
Dislikes: Your stupid cat.
Derby Name: Meanie Van
Bio: Theatre artist/maker, stage manager, occasional scenic carpenter
Catchphrase: Do I know you?
Likes: Rock climbing, anything circus related, adrenaline rush, facing my fears
Dislikes: Heteronormativity, the gender binary, the glass ceiling
Derby Name: Nemesister
Bio: Born in a helicopter — it’s true — been trying to land ever since!
Height: Tall enough that my legs reach the ground
Catchphrase: There is no problem that duct tape can’t solve
Likes: That moment at sunset when the sky turns green; people being awkwardly cute to each other on the metro (it does happen)
Dislikes: Basement apartments
Derby Name: Pinkyller
Position: First choice mop for the taz.
Bio: I’m a small laboratory mouse called Pinky. While trying to plan an escape with the Brain, I work hard on my naivete and my stupidity. But one day I’ll conquer the Track and the World!
Height: Could be worse
Likes: Anything that provokes addictions: ipa, cheese, stupid games, sex and rock and roll!
Derby Name: Road Kale
Position: Hopefully upright and ahead of the jammer!
Bio: Mom, wicked step-mother, wannabe baker, gardener, big nerd and tree-hugging-hippy
Height: Grande Madame
Likes: Food: it’s always about the food…and my Brady Bunch Family because they are pretty awesome
Dislikes: Derby gear smell
Derby Name: Simone De Beaver
Bio: I was born somewhere, grew up somewhere else and now live somewhere different. I like that. I intend to go on.
Height: 159 cm. Because it would have been too much to ask to reach 160, right?
Catchphrase: Lieber wütend als traurig
Likes: Books. All things puppets. Cats. Reading books about puppetry with a cat on my lap. Nah, wait. Working on a puppet show about cats while reading. Scratch that. Building a cat puppet that reads. Meh. Something like that.
Dislikes: White heterosexist specist patriarchy. Let’s destroy it together, one body hit at a time.
Derby Name: Velvet OnTheGround
Position: Dunno yet. Watching you when you sleep, though.
Bio: Dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
Catchphrase: Is is bedtime yet?
Likes: My bed, pancakes, kind people, in that order.
Dislikes: Injustice. Socks that slip off your foot in your shoe.